Abby and I want to thank all of you for your support.  Every one of your emails, texts, phone calls, hugs and visits this week provided the inspiration we needed to get through a very difficult week. It’s incredibly humbling to receive so many offers of help.  Thank you all and please know that we will take each and every one of you up on it. Although we don’t know exactly what’s in store for us, it is very comforting to know that we can pull from all of you.  Thank you.  As a family we’re finding our resolve and gearing up for this marathon battle.  It’s only made possible knowing that you’re all there. Thank you and please forgive our slowness to respond to your outpouring of kindness as things are happening so quickly in preparation for Abby’s first Chemotherapy treatment today.

Your focused prayers and positive thinking helped this week and we want to share an early win.  As many of you know, our first ask for Abby is that any remaining cancer be localized to the positive margins from her surgery without spreading to other parts of her body.  It’s too early to call this a victory but early indications are that Abby’s bone marrow is clean.  While only cautiously optimistic at this early stage, having cancer-free bones is a great place to start.

Keep your prayers coming. As we move into treatment, we want Abby’s Chemotherapy to be effective against the cancer while being as gentle as possible on her body.  When we have our next CT scan in April, we want to see signs that Abby’s treatments are working and any remaining cancer continues to be localized and shrinking.  Please join us and focus your prayers there.

In addition to prayers, many of you have asked how you can help. We should know a lot more about meals and nutrition, the kids’ routine, in-hospital treatment schedules for visiting, etc. this week.  We will definitely take you up on your offers.  Please be patient.  In the interim, here are some things to be thinking about.

For Abby:  

• She needs to be strong today as she starts treatment (1 day/night) – send her inspiration today
• Text or e-mail her a selfie picture of you and your families to wish her well…blow her a kiss, be silly, make an intimidating face and write a message to her cancer telling it to take a hike – Be positive, have fun with it and make her smile!
• If you’d like to visit today, please call or text me (206) 718-5872. There will be lots of time in the hospital this year and this may not be the best one as it’s her first experience, but I’ll be happy to ask her if she’s up for it. Please don’t be offended if she takes a rain check.

For Jaren and Miri:

• We are looking for an afterschool nanny (3:30-8:30pm) on weekdays. E-mail me if you know someone with a car that would be a good fit for our family
• We met with a Child Life Specialist this week and will talk with Jaren and Miri this evening, here are some early notes on what we’re sharing and how you can create a loving environment for them
• Biggest thing is consistency of routines and discipline – we will document all this to make it easier for many of you who will spend time with them
• In communicating with the kids, our job is to help them find answers
• We will use the word “cancer” as opposed to words like “sick” to avoid generalization
• Explain that every part of our body has a job, and part of her doesn’t work very well right now
• Cancer is not contagious or something that was caused by anyone (anyone’s fault)
• Mommy will take medicine to fight cancer, but it can make mommy tired and some parts of her body, like her hair could change.
• Mommy is still mommy
• It’s okay to feel scared sometimes
• Everyone’s cancer is different.  You might reference someone in your family that is a survivor.  This is our goal for Mommy.
• Be prepared for questions anytime. If you are uncomfortable, good ways to respond could be “What makes you say that?” to address their underlying feelings or simply “I don’t know the answer, but we should find out.”
• We will share more documents with Jaren and Miri’s teachers – if you want them, e-mail me.

For Justin:

• Sports (skiing, slower-than-usual bike ride, paddleboard, hikes, tennis or watching them) are a welcome distraction.
• Music (playing or listening) feels really good right now

Calvo House:

• While the doctors treat Abby’s cancer, keeping Abby healthy is our top priority
• Purell hand sanitizer when you come into the house everytime
• Low immune system diet (similar to pregnancy diet + high iron) – e-mail me if you want specifics
• If you are sick – or think you are coming down with something – please don’t be offended if we ask to find another time to visit.

Hug your loved ones and take care of yourselves.  We’ll send out another update later this week after treatment.  Thank you for all of your support.

Love and healing,

Justin, Abby, Jaren and Miri

It’s with a heavy but hopeful heart that Abby and I share this news with you.  After removing Abby’s right kidney last month, we learned that the tumor in Abby’s kidney was Ewing Sarcoma, a rare form of cancer.  It’s not heredity, environmental, or other and the reason for its occurrence is unknown.

Abby’s pre-surgery neck-to-pelvis CT scan showed no cancer outside her kidney, which is important. The tumor removal was successful and Abby is healing like a champion, but there were positive margins – meaning some cancer cells may have been left behind and Abby is in for the fight of her life.

She is now a patient at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, one of the top cancer treatment centers in the world, working with an esteemed team of doctors to eradicate her cancer.  Over the next 9 months, Abby will destroy any remaining cancer with the help of chemotherapy and radiation treatment. She’s already transitioned from work to focus all her energy on this new fight.

The fight starts this week:

• Tuesday – Port placement – Abby will have day surgery to make it easier to get ongoing treatment.
• Wednesday – Bone marrow biopsy – Ewings Sarcoma often presents itself in bones and we are praying the biopsy comes back clean – we need your positive energy and prayers focused here
• Thursday – More tests…
• Friday – Child life specialist meeting – We will get guidance on how to explain all of this this in ways Jaren and Miri can comprehend. We’ll share the guidance we get with those of you who interact with Jaren and Miri at home and out of the home, including teachers
• Saturday – Abby’s first treatment takes place as an in-patient at University of Washington Medical Center (UWMC) for 1-2 days/nights.

The ongoing fight:

It looks like Abby will go in every two weeks for chemotherapy as an in-patient at UWMC – sometimes staying at the hospital for 5 days/nights; other times for 1-2 days/nights as she is this week.  Radiation is planned to start after about three months. We will share treatment schedules and visitation guides later to make it easy for you to visit UWMC and keep her spirit sky high.

As you can imagine, this has been a shock for the family and we’re quickly coming up to speed on a new lexicon and defining a new normal.  Abby has been tremendously strong. Anything less than complete healing is not an option and your outpouring of love and support makes us truly believe this vision will be realized.

How can you help us in this journey?

For starters, congratulations, you’ve officially been enlisted as a member of “Abby’s Army”.  We will be working through long-term planning for meals, home help, school rides, playdates, etc. We will definitely take you up on your offers.  Please be patient.  In the interim, here are some things to be thinking about.

For Abby:

• Please send your positive energy, prayers, thoughts to Abby for this Wednesday’s bone biopsy.  In our meditation and prayers we’re asking for any remaining cancer cells from her surgery to be weak and localized to the surgery site w/out any spreading to other parts of the body.
• Abby wants to hear from you, but she wants the focus to be on what’s happening in your lives, etc.  No need to focus on the cancer.  Tell a funny story. Make her laugh and smile. You get the idea!
• We understand laughter may be difficult at this stage.  An uplifting e-mail works or a positive text during day hours.  She loves bright vibrant colors if you want to send a card.  Go nuts! Our address is 186 36th Ave. E. Seattle, WA 98112.
• Walks! If you’re local, Abby will have some time around the house as things kick off.  She’s mentioned several times how much walks with many of you have lifted her spirits.  Just follow her lead and energy level
• We will be spending a lot of time at UWMC so if you were ever needing an excuse to shop at University Village we will be just down Montlake and I’m sure if Abby is up to it she would love to see you.

For our family:

• Smiles, hugs, positive energy.  Keep it coming!
• If you have kids the age of Jaren (4.5 yr) and Miri (21 mo) we may call on you for play dates.
• Just knowing you’re there will help.

We’ve never been through this before, so I expect this list will grow.  Share this e-mail if it can help inform others. I’ll add any e-mails to this list other updates like these. Please no social posts at this time.  There may be a time for this later, we’ll see.

We’ve already received great guidance and feedback from friends and family who have dealt with cancer in their homes, including a Ewings Sarcoma family.  More guidance and feedback is welcome.

When you see us, don’t feel obligated to do anything and please don’t feel awkward.  A hug, hello, and a smile is all you need.  We know that every one of you is very sorry to hear this news.  We are too and our hope is that none of you ever have to have this news.  For now – we are where we are and the most productive use of all of our energy is positive thinking and push for the best possible outcome.

Love and healing,

Justin and Abby